You're Cute! What's Your... Oh, Hey Babe!

Ha! I know that title is a little dramatic... but all you new parents know exactly what I'm getting at.

If you're a stay-at-home mama/daddy like myself, you can relate to the cabin fever madness I experience daily. You spend all of your energy tending to that adorable energy-sucking babe that you can easily lose track of time, when you last drank a sip of water, or where you put your phone (which happens at least 5 times a day in my house). See my previous post for more on that. But what happens when your significant other comes home at the end of the day? We'd love to be able to say that quality time together takes place... right? Well, I'll tell you what happens in my house.

My fiancé gets home from work around 6:15pm during the week. And that's on a good day. Sometimes he gets stuck at work for an extra 15 minutes or so, which would make it 6:30pm. Sometimes he needs to stop at Publix on the way home to pick up some items for dinner (he's the cook in the house which I sooooo appreciate). That could make his arrival as late as 6:45pm. One of his many jobs is running sound at a local church & helping churches set up/install their equipment (if you need a local sound engineer, you can reach him here), so on those nights he pops in for an hour after work and then he's gone again until 9 o'clock at night. And because he's the one bringing in the majority of our income these days, I try to let him sleep in as much as possible in the mornings - so we see him for maybe an hour before he goes into work.

While it is a lot of work, taking care of Benjamin on my own, my real complaint here is that I miss my fiancé.

One of my first few posts talks all about the struggles of having a new relationship and a new baby (you can read it here), and the older our little one gets... the more we feel the effects. Sure, the financial and physical struggles that I mentioned before are still very much present. However, the biggie these days is the lack of time we are able to spend with each other. Often, by the time James gets home from work I am already completely exhausted. If it were up to me, I'd go to bed right when Benjamin does. But I also know that the only quality time I have with my love is when baby goes to sleep. So our "quality time" ends up being one or two episodes of a show we like, maybe a nice drink together to relax, and then it's off to bed. Don't forget the conversation about who is waking up for the first night feeding! It's hard but luckily we remind each other daily - sometimes multiple times a day - that we love each other and miss each other. It doesn't sound like much, but the little texts like "thank you for washing the bottles" or "don't forget to eat your snack" go a long way in our relationship. And I always try to send James selfies of Benjamin & I, as well as videos, throughout the day to make sure he feels included. I can't imagine how it must feel to be providing for a fiancé and son that you never get to see. It's hard but we're making it work.

Yesterday we celebrated our one year anniversary together. And while we have zero regrets about our choices, we can admit that it was odd to spend our first anniversary together with our three-month-old son. Could we have asked a friend to watch him for a few hours? Probably. But for me (overprotective mama over here), he's still too young for a babysitter & especially with coronavirus I am not comfortable risking anything just yet. Also, we don't get a lot of time together as a family so why waste the opportunity! So the three of us went to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner (at 4 o'clock to avoid being around crowds) and had a wonderful time together - aside from our little Benjamin's gums beginning to bother him right as we sat down to order.

I love my little family. We definitely have our daily challenges, and sometimes life gets pretty hard, but we are so happy and so in love. And that's all we can ask for. Our house is full of laughter and love, and the rest will come! So, if you're struggling with the same things we are... just know you are not alone. Try to focus on the good, like we do. Hang in there!

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.

♡